The Legend of Friar Tuck
One afternoon Little John was mad about something that he wouldn't tell anyone about. He insisted on being in front and kept hacking up trees and vines that weren't in anybody's way. When they stopped to set up camp he stabbed his sword into the ground and stomped off somewhere to pee. Friar Tuck noticed something black sliming up out of the dirt where the sword was sticking and he got a gross and doomy feeling in his head and stomach. When he pulled the sword out of the ground the black stuff started splooging out even more. Disgusted and strangely terrified, Tuck knelt on the black bubbles, hoping to keep them underground before anyone else noticed. He closed his eyes so they would think he was praying, and maybe he was, if just repeating weird phrases over and over in your brain counts. Some of the hesychasts say that's the best way to do it. Anyway, he stayed there all night quietly groaning and mumbling and cussing and puking a few times, and in the morning his robes had all turned black, and underneath so had his knees and legs. In this way, Friar Tuck, who was originally expelled from the brown-clothed Franciscan order for drinking too much, inadvertantly founded the black-robed Dominican order.